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THIS WEEK'S JOHNNY JET 7/24/2002
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WHERE'S
JOHNNY JET
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Another fine travel week for Johnny Jet! Well, actually, it
started off rough but it got much better...
We begin in L.A. where I was home only for a day so I
could check my mail, water the plants, and get some clothes....
If I had planned correctly, I could've and should've gone straight
to Salt Lake from Cleveland but then I would've missed out on
accruing some extra miles. Anyways, Monday I was off at the crack
of dawn to the airport. Instead of paying $20 for a taxi,
I parked my car at LAX and hid the parking ticket for Amber Airplane
who was arriving later that day. That sneaky moved saved us
over $30! I wasn't checking any bags so I headed straight
for the gate. Not so fast Johnny Jet.... While going through
the security checkpoint I heard those harsh words that every traveler
hates: "Bag Check." Like a bad boy, I only had about 40 minutes
before my flight and I still hadn't checked in so this didn't help.
The security lady was just coming to work and I had to wait
about two minutes for her to put on her extra tight rubber gloves.
I don't think she was fully woken up yet because she was so
damn SLOW. I had my clothes perfectly packed so they wouldn't
wrinkle (you know in dry cleaning bags) which turned out to be a waste
of time because she took everything out and put it on the conveyor belt,
not the security table. I think it's rude and an invasion of property
to go through someone's property in front of everyone. Hey! I
realize they have to do it and it's my fault I didn't check my bag,
but come on put a little divider so the whole world doesn't have to see
my Superman Underoos :-). You know everyone is curious to see what
people are packing.
It was early and I was getting a bit perturbed because
this lady not only was slow and wrinkled my clothes but then she starting
dumping everything from my toiletry bag and my medicine bag.
(I have asthma and allergies and those bags are filled to the rim with
all kinds of medicines and gadgets.) It took over ten minutes but
it felt like thirty, especially when she called over the supervisor to
find out if my nail clippers were legal. (I finally said, "You
can have them, they're yours.) All I could do was put on a fake
smile when in reality I just wanted to SCREAM! This is what takes
the fun out of traveling for me, in fact it made me want to go home and
unpack. Next time I will think twice about carrying bags.
I just made the check-in cut off
and my first flight was a 737 to SFO. I was in seat 11D which
is the aisle. I notice the dude who is sitting in front of
me is the same dude I watched cut everyone during boarding. Strike
number 1 against him. When the door closed, the flight attendant
made the usual pre-flight announcement to turn everything off
and put your tray tables up, this jerk still had his down and was
working diligentlyon his laptop. Strike number 2. At
this point I wanted to give him a Benny Hill, (you know a slap on his
head), and say what the hell are you thinking about? The flight
attendant comes over and politely says, "Sir, please close down and
get ready for take-off." (I would've just shut it down for him
and threw his computer out the window but that's why I'm not a flight
attendant.) Are you ready for STRIKE number 3? Well, here
it goes. Can you believe this turkey tried to put his seat back
right after the FA's sat down. That did it! Instead of asking
him to wait until we take-off to put it back, I put it back for him. I
pushed it back as hard as could with my knees and locked them there.
Not too many people can push my buttons but he hit everyone. After
take-off, I removed my knees and allowed him to recline. When I tried
to put my seat back, I quickly found out it was broken. Now my mouth
was about six inches from the back of his nappy head. I just sat
there and counted his dandruff. The young couple sitting next to
me had all kinds of space when they lounged back. To make matters
worse, my seat mate started biting her fake nails and putting them on
the tray table next to me. I am usually really friendly, but I could
tell they weren't too nice because when I sat down they didn't even smile
nor say hello. But, frankly, I wasn't in the mood anyways (shocker).
I grabbed the inflight magazine to make myself busy and start ripping
out websites that I think might be cool to add to Johnny Jet. I could
feel the nail biter looking at me like, 'Why is he ruining that magazine?'
I guess she didn't know they were for free. I turned to her and gave
the most evil look, a look I didn't even know I had in me. I am certain
my eyes turned red and horns must've shot out of my head because she turned
around so fast to snuggle up to her sleeping husband for protection. ERRRGGHH!
My day changed once we landed in San Francisco. It's amazing what a private lounge can do for your psyche. Once I walked into the new Red Carpet Club at SFO it was like I had just woken up and my day was just beginning. I hadn't been there in over a year and I have to tell you they remodeled this place perfectly. It felt like walking into someone's mansion. The furniture was brand spanking new with plenty of phone and electrical outlets. I was able to charge the batteries on my cell and my laptop at the same time! Not only that, they also had all kinds of fruits, snacks , (including my favorite Fisher's hawaii mix), and drinks. I was there for almost two hours working on Johnny Jet before jumping on another 737 that took me 599 miles to SLC. Kudos to them for brightening my day.
Next week I will have all kinds of pictures and stories from Salt
Lake City and the NBTA conference I attended.
BTW...
My neighbor: World traveler and filmmaker,
Richard Roe, is seeking a single female, who is very adventurous, loves
having fun, as his traveling companion on his third trip around the world.
Richard offers to pay all expenses. Interested women should first see
www.popandme.com
for information about Richard, and if interested, contact him at
poproe@yahoo.com
for additional information....
GUESS WHAT?
Remember when I met
Steve Forbes
last month? I handed him my card and said check out Johnny
Jet. Well I thought he was going to throw it away when I turned
the corner, but the nice guy that he is just sent me a tie and a
note. The tie is pretty funny, it's green with the words "capitalist
tool" all over it. Thanks Steve!
MEDIA ALERT
7/22: "Idaho Today" radio show in Boise.
READER AIR-EMAIL
Next Week:
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WHAT'S NEW
IN JOHNNY
JET
Travel Celebrity Q&A:
With Cruise Expert ~ Anne
Campbell
TIP
OF THE WEEK:
I just mailed
my passport in to get renewed eventhough it doesn't
expire to next May. I did it for 2 reasons 1. Some
countries require that your passport be valid at least
6 months beyond the dates of your trip. and I didn't
want to take the chance in December if I'm overseas. The
2nd reason- The fee goes up $25 on Aug?
CHICAGO
TRIBUNE
GOOD
TO KNOW!
The Very Best Way to Visit the Normandy
Beaches (By Rudy Maxa)
A practical guide to help enrich a D-Day pilgrimage.
Many Americans will mark the 58th anniversary of
D-Day by visiting the landing beaches of Normandy this summer.
To get the most out of a trip, I asked Contributing Editor Melanie
Walker to lead us through the best way to see the area and to understand
the horrific events of June 6, 1944.
Visitors who come to Normandy to focus on World
War II memorials should not expect to do as much in a day as they
normally would when touring, Melanie cautions. Time for absorbing
and processing the images and information is often needed. It's
also better to work from a base rather than to have the constant
disruption of packing up and moving every day.
Click Here
to read rest of Article.
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